Nightingales Sound

Next to "O Holy Night" and "Carol of the Bells" my fave Christmas Carol sung in perfect harmony by the Monkees.

Riu Riu Chiu



Happy Holidays to all and to all a good night.


Transaltion
Riu, riu, chiu (nightingale's sounds)
The river bank protects it,
As God kept the wolf from our lamb


The rabid wolf tried to bite her
But God Almighty knew how to defend her
He wished to create her impervious to sin
Nor was this maid to embody original sin

Riu, riu, chiu (nightingale's sounds)
The river bank protects it,
As God kept the wolf from our lamb


He comes to give life to the dead
He comes to redeem the fall of man
This child is the light of day
He is the very lamb Saint John prophecied


Riu, riu, chiu (nightingale's sounds)
The river bank protects it,
As God kept the wolf from our lamb


A thousand singing herons
I saw passing,
Flying overhead, sounding
A thousand voices
Exhulting, "Glory be in the
heavens, and peace on earth,
for Jesus has been born."


Riu, riu, chiu (nightingale's sounds)
The river bank protects it,
As God kept the wolf from our lamb


He comes to give life to the dead
He comes to redeem the fall of man
This child is the light of day
He is the very lamb Saint John
prophesied


Riu, riu, chiu (nightingale's sounds)
The river bank protects it,
As God kept the wolf from our lamb


A thousand singing herons
I saw passing
Flying overhead, sounding
a thousand voices
Exhulting, "Glory be in the
heavens, and peace on earth
for Jesus has been born."


Riu, riu, chiu (nightingale's sounds)
The river bank protects it,
As God kept the wolf from our lamb.

It will all come back to you

Ive had some ups and downs lately that have caused me to neglect my honored duty to the Universe and you to blog it all out. But thanks for your love, patience and support. Doors close only for a window (or many windows) to open. I will be back on the blog scene soon, for I am a love machine.

And a shout out to Steely Dan for inspiring me on the way to work today:

"Peg
It will come back to you
Peg
It will come back to you
Then the shutter falls
You see it all in 3-D
It's your favorite foreign movie"

It will come back to me.

From me to you.

cupcakes and touchscreens......

I am eating a cupcake right now. Apparently everyone at work was born in October or November and , therefore, we have a had plethora of grocery store bought cakes and cupcakes for the past month. I try to avoid the temptation , but who am I kidding? I see the primary colored frosting and I'm like a dog with a snausage dangling in its face. Of course I'm goingto have some. However, trying to sneak a peek at a text or two, I nonetheless have sticky fingers and blue frosting drying crustily on my screen. Some things, both equal in my pleasure pool, simply just dont belong together.

Ive been going through an odd phase lately. Needless to say, insomnia is rampant. I actually have had several blogs half finished that I never posted. I was going to post my answers on the props and candidates merely to promote a discussion amongst ourselves but for some reason, half wrote it, got another idea, wrote another blog, and half-lifed that one too. Sometimes creativity comes and goes like waves of emotion wrapped in an undertow of logic.

I recently connected with a former person in my life. Its funny how old emotions evoke new ones , only for you to realize the old emotions are where they should be... in the past. It is sometimes difficult to separate what is new in a re-born relationship from what is old. And furthermore, is the old stuff that is still there good ? or bad? or is it simply what it is? Either way, plucking through the emotions one by one is starting to take its toll. Ive always had issues with letting go and accepting what you cant control. I think after this cupcake I know the real issue: control.

Some things just simply don't go together: red bull and a Valium, water and oil, touchscreens and cupcakes, control and fate. Every relationship I have in my blessed life with family, friends, lovers, starngers, all have so much to offer and so much to teach me. But only if I listen and let go. I am an everyday learner and just have to accept the journey rather trying to steer it. It is beyond my control. I cannot control another persons feelings no more than I can , essentially, control my own. ( BTW As I write this I hear Janet Jacksons "Control" song in my head.) Wallowing in what I want or don't want doesnt assist in getting me to where I need to be. But you know what? Sometimes its much easier to blog it out, but not change my action. Almost as if because know better, I can actaully get away with doing or saying the wrong thing, simply because I know the difference. You and I both know that is not true. Feeling bad about stealing the cookie from the cookie jar doesnt change the fact that you stole the cookie.

Sometimes I wish I was just not as perceptive as I am. I could just play dumb and tune out my strong notion to listen to my heart all of the time. But then again, I certainly wouldn't be the free spirited soul I am. It all comes as a gift disguised like that package at Christmas that you are positivie are socks, so you save it to open last. Only to find it's exactly what you wanted and didnt know it..... (* what is up with me and all of these analogies today?.....)

Beautiful Surprises will come and they will go.



At any rate, that is my beef and what I am working on this week: letting go of it all so I can be "present" for it all. And really, who am I kidding? This is a lifelong process. One day at a time was created for a purpose.

Is there anything you over-control in your life? Could you free up your energy to be in the now?

If so, lets work on it together. I've got your back. Hope you have mine.

Simple Pleasures

"I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. " ~Emma Goldman

Ive been going on alot of dates lately. The latest one told me I'm the first woman he has met in San Diego that enjoys the "Simple Pleasures" in life. I got to thinking, well shouldn't everyone possess a notion to enjoy the simple things?

The Simple Pleasures in life are the things that enrich our life with wholeness and goodness at a very minimal level. These things create a natural abundance of happiness for me. And the best part is there is not alot of money involved, if any at all.

Being a true cancer, I enjoy time at home. Here are some simple pleasures I think we all could try :

1. Gardening- Find some dirt , dig a hole and plant something, watch it grow, eat it if you can.
2. Cooking Dinner- Experimenting, baking deiciouness, coupled with a glass of wine
3. Cooking Breakfast- deserves its own line because it is a completely different experience than dinner- bring on the waffles, coffee or tea and berries
4. Cleaning- mirrors cleansing of the soul, fresh bedsheets are the bomb, I an actively going through Swiffer therapy
5. Reading/Writing in bed
6. Bubble bath - Rubber Ducky you're the one
7. Singing- in the shower and elsewhere
8. Arts and crafts- the older I get the more artsy fartsy I become- everyone gets handmade Christmas cards this from recylced magazines.
9. Going to the market ( for numbers 2 & 3) but also for flowers on my table and in my bathroom, for less than 5.00.
10. Yoga sun salutations and power walks, with or without ipod.


So my date was right, I do like the Simple Pleasures. They are fulfilling and lovely in every way. I would rather have wildflowers on my table than diamonds on my neck any day of the week and twice on Sunday.

What are your simple pleasures?

Pen n paper can't seem to keep their ink off each other...

A blurp here .
A bleep there.
I spit out into the world.
I have to celebrate and praise
the likes of you forever and always.



If there were a candle
flavored incense
I'd name it you.
Like a Sleeping baby Indian
of mystery
dancing
on the sunset
Definitely not ideal
yet fulfilling the soul
Swarming upon millions
that know the same
Only familiarity lacks the difference between that
which is you and actually the in- between, which is you and me.
Making it ludicrous
and once again fluid
in my pumpkin skies.
And if that makes any sense to you
then you already know.



Upon the crystalline
sand of sharp moon dust
and the bountiless*
fruit of you
I substantially become
what a Beautiful Surprise you are,
I possibly foresee...and then know
my paper cut stars are as much you as me

(* I think I made up the word bountiless, I cant find it in a dictionary or google, i get the gist of what it means , do you? Absent, not present etc... I just added a suffix to a word right? Whatever..... make up words, its fun)




i used to envy that
time when envy gets the best
But now if Love is what you seek
essentially
love becomes ludicrously
available
abundant
And envy becomes
a player in the play
just as boys played
girls during Shakespeare's time
Still believable
but only
because you were willing
to suspend your belief



Mom I know you read my blogs, I just wanted to say I love you. Anyone else I love you too. My Mom is just my number one fan right now so props to Mom.

kind be the sound.

The Musical life.
It is something we all live. Taking notice of the rhythms and rhymes all around you is a choice. We often tune out the rhythms we are. Sounds has the intention to keep going. Music is in that sound.

My friend C handed me a book the day before my journey home. It was handed to me with a grin from ear to ear, “Brooke you will LOVE this book.” (** Notice the sound how you stress “love” when you read this silently in your head.) I don’t need to be there in person to read this blog to you for you to get the gist of her enthusiasm for me and softness in her voice. Even in your inner ear, there is a timbre, pitch, and sound silently heard. A type of sound resonating in your bones and skull only YOU can hear. And truth be told, she was right, I LOVE this book.

Within the first ten pages I was writing down quote after quote. Sometimes authors capture the right words , in the right rhythm that give you that “wow” factor. I read in amazement and sheer joy of this guys insight to sound, music and life. He chose good old fashion words and paper and I had a voice inside my head saying ,”yes!” , "totally!" , "right on!"....etc.
At times I just referred to the page itself in my notes because I resonated so much with his interpretations from top of the page to the bottom, dare I leave any part out.

Say your best friends, current crush, or current lovers name out loud (“ Insert name here”)….. Doesn’t that sound call for intentions? Doesn’t it seem to want to keep going? Listen to someone speak today, listen to their pace, the rhythm, the sound of their vowels. Listen to old voice mails that are still lingering on your phone. Is there a verse and chorus? How does the pitch and timbreof their voice/message flow through you?

With songs, especially , pop songs, I pick what I call “my fave part.” I always tend to zone in on some part of the song , some sound that I particularly enjoy. It sometimes repeats throughout the song and other times its just a blip on the page. I don’t know why I do this, but alas I do. Name a pop song…. I have a secret little insignificant yet favorite part. Ride in the car with me, Ill tell you may fave part blasting on the radio. Its fun to play with sounds and notice the smallest note dangling somewhere off the stanza. For it too deserves acknowledgement and value.


copy paste this to go to to Amazon and get this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Musical-Life-W-Mathieu/dp/0877736707


Here are some notes I wrote from the book in my notepad:

p.56
It feels right to spin good energy toward a person on the sound of his or her name. That sound may still be spinning a thousand years from now.


p.65
Ive learned only to gradually take responsibility for the sounds of my life, inside and out both. I realize how I form them and they form me.

p.95
Music isn't a pill. It is an exchange between souls. If I play for you and heal myself, you can be in that wholeness regardless of mode or musical scheme.

p.116
Much composition takes place in the semi-darkness, in a perplexing weave of light and shadow , certainty and doubt. You mustn't get stuck there. The flow of these rare moments in not inward to self congratulation, but the outward thrill of discovery.

p. 127
Show me the nub of a pencil
with an eraser still fresh
and I'll show you mind less charm

p. 130
From the gallery of the great composers, Bach, Maozart, and Beethovan , are especially the ones to beat. And they will beat you every time. Even though it is constrictive and fruitless, one is still haunted by the unimaginable excellence of these musical minds. Why write second rate music? Why add to bins of lesser work? The answer is easy : Your culure needs you , your generation needs you. You are not competing with the dead , you are working out your own salvation.


I had to select what to put in this blog carefully, for all of it is just too good, yet too long to type.



I start choir today. I get make my own melodic sounds of my own to Bach’s: “Magnificent,” and more. The beautiful thing about a choir is that each time a Masterpiece like Hayden, Bach, etc are performed, it is NEVER the same performance. Closing in on 100 plus voices to sound as 4 voices ( S, B, T and Alto) is not easy and requires dedication, and hard work.
The music continues to grow , learn, and mold itself to the instruments it occupies, in each voice, old or young, and will continue its journey through us till eternity.


Today, make sounds of your own. Listen to sounds you never heard before. Listen to the rhythms of life around you. Let it consume you. Play with sound, stretch and squish it ( like " I squish yo head!") around your soul. Its purpose is your intention and it wants to continue. Dance to voice mails, sing books, make rings with your finger around the rim of your wine glass, shout from a mountain top and cause an avalanche, or find a patch of grass and listen to crickets gossip. You are a composer, creator, and consumer of love and life always. Our generation and the Universe needs you to keep the intention going.

Cardboard box junk is anothers treasure

Walking through my neighborhood I spot an old cardboard box on the sidewalk. Books. I grab a book : "Poems" by T.S. Eliot...

Allow me to share.....

Exerpt from "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock":

And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep ... tired ... or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head (grown slightly bald) brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet--and here's no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it towards some overwhelming question,
To say: "I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all"--
If one, settling a pillow by her head
Should say: "That is not what I meant at all;
That is not it, at all."

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor--
And this, and so much more?--
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
"That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all."

No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous--
Almost, at times, the Fool.

I grow old ... I grow old ...
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me.

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.
We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.


Hysteria:

S she laughed I was aware of becoming involved
in her laughter and being part of it, until her
teeth were only accidental stars with a talent
for squad-drill. I was drawn in by short gasps,
inhaled at each momentary recovery, lost finally
in the dark caverns of her throat, bruised by
the ripple of unseen muscles. An elderly waiter
with trembling hands was hurriedly spreading
a pink and white checked cloth over the rusty
green iron table, saying: "If the lady and
gentleman wish to take their tea in the garden,
if the lady and gentleman wish to take their
tea in the garden ..." I decided that if the
shaking of her breasts could be stopped, some of
the fragments of the afternoon might be collected,
and I concentrated my attention with careful
subtlety to this end.

Packing my troubles away

As I pack my things all nice n tidy in my suit case, many thoughts race through my head:

1. Im totally forgetting something but I know not to worry Im sure my Mom will rsuh me to the store to get what I need.

2. Im totally adventurousely yet absolutely without a doubt over-packing. I always think of all secenerios I might possibly be in when I travel. Let's face it i dont need to bring ALL of my jewelry, just a couple staple items like my fave lilac scarf. I dont need to bring a peacoat, Michigan isnt quite that cold yet. However, in my mind I play all of these scenarios "just in case" I might need it. I need to learn to pack way lighter, my mind mixes and matches outfits all too well. I really only need one black cardigan, but I have one with ruffles and one that ties around the waist, how in the world do I choose? Both give my boots a totally different look, depending, of course , on my mood. I think for many woman it is a gift to pack lightly bearing only what you really need. I will master that one day. Maybe when Im a Mom and have to learn to pack everyones things together, maybe my jewlery box wont be as important, and say maybe my childs underwear might take up that space or something.

3. I woke up this morning and my car wouldnt start. Nothing like starting a vaction knowing youve already spent hundreds of dollars without even having the qoute yet. I have an early coffee date with a man who will be towing my car, Im kicking my travels off with a bang. I cant wait to see how he will find a way to get my car out of the garage; uphill and around a tight corner. Never doubt anyone's talents, for we all have them. ANd I cant wait to see this guy (or woman) work their magic on this one

4. The car thing is really annoying and quite stressful, but tis the way life churns and i will find a way to make it happen. I am thankful for my roomate who gets to see me in these moments when my car wont start and she laughs at me, and I recognize the ludicrousness of the situation and laugh too. Also for friends willing at the drop of a dime to scoop me up without hesitation.

5. Final thoughts before I sign off: Mom & Dad
dust off the scrabby and get the wine ready (and I will catch a fish this time),; Nico, Clo-bug, Livie and Racheal: get ready to play with Auntie B, Matthew I cant wait to see you new condo, and Sara I cannot wait to catch up with our lives.

6. Last thought: I really need to get out of town for a bit, my soul needs it, this trip couldnt come at a better time. Havent you ever felt like that?

Safe travels to you and yours.

PS I almost forgot to charge my ipod for the trip...I mean , seriously? I need a jack and coke.

sliding down the rainbow of a childhood's read.

Books are amazing....I remember when I was little, the librarian would read to us for a whole class period. It was such a special treat, just as good as an hour school assembly... I also remember how I loved the "Choose Your Own Adventure" books, where you could choose the ending to the story.Honestly, I was one of those kids who would read all of the endings and THEN choose what I wanted.

For a while when I first ventured on volunteering here in SD, I volunteered at a library. I partnered with a guy, native to Hawaii and he played the guitar and we would sing songs. I would then read the kids a book, followed by a craft I had made up practically on the spot. It was such a great time. It was so simple, and we all had so much fun doing this every Monday evening. It was a delight to work with those kids and felt honored they would let me read and sing to them.

I love libraries. I love the atmosphere. I think its a great pick up joint too. I mean you really have to make some serious eye contact from across the room because shouting is not allowed. I also love the smell of old books and libraries. I have this odd fascination with unabridged dictionaries that are close to impossible to carry, that only a library can hold. I bet if I got one of those for my scrabble games, I could make up just about any combination of letters and it would for sure be in that book.

I still don't know how to use the Dewey Decimal Classification System, but I hope one day to learn the process and find my very own book among the shelves of books. I always thought it was nice when the librarian guided me to the book I was searching for.


I went to the library the other day and they were having a book sale on some children's stories. Got me to thinking about all of the books I read as a child.
Here are some books I remember :













and in my tweens:



What was your favorite childhood book?

Today is a beautiful day to grab some fresh lemonade and sit and read.

free writing into an oblivion.

Is there a such thing as a blogger's block? Ive had many an encounter with a writers block. But what if I am lost in regards to what to blog about? Of course , that is the point of a blog, to rave and/or rant about whatever is you choose, hence "my" blog. What's so hard about that? just blog it out.

The thing with me is that I feel this pressure within myself that there has to be a theme for every entry, thus creating boundaries and constraints. A thought out stream of thoughts and ideas put down by me in pen/paper (every now and then I like the use of a good No. 2 pencil) minutes before I go to bed, or sitting at the keyboard , well-knowing that I never type as fast as my thoughts could roll off my fingertips. I often like to write it out because my hand flies off the charts with speed and becomes completely illegible but only to me. Its sort of my own secret code. You would only really know what it says unless I chose to narrate to them to you myself. At any rate, that is not neither here nor there, and don't know how I just got to ranting about that.

Which is, in essence, my point and sole purpose of conjuring this up. A blog with no name. I have no direction as to where my thoughts are leading today, in fact they are every which way around the bend and up and down, which is honestly how my mind funcitons all the time anyway. So why contrive a theme for this particular blog? My theme in essence is not to have a theme at all. Instead I'd like to share some of the random thoughts that are floating in and directly out of my mind this very moment. Like a very hot lava lamp bubbling up and then released, the process never stops. Sometimes its cool to be the only one that knows these thoughts. However, for this time and purpose of the blog in the afore mentioned, I will share the random thoughts floating through in this particular moment (maybe it will encourage you for some free writing time afterwards too):

1. I wonder why my fish has this white stuff on him and I can't seem to cure it. Do I need try more drops? Does he even know I named him Blarney because I got him on St. Patricks day? And how long do Betta's last? How old is he in fishy years?
I don't have a real birthday for him.

2. We are doing a company lunch today for one of my girls who is moving to Idaho. I wish her love on her new beginnings. I also wonder if our boss will allow some skinny margaritas to be consumed this afternoon in celebration to her amazing contributions.

3. I'm thinking about my vices today. I am wondering what yours are.

4. I wonder if that "someone out there" across the cosmos is thinking that it's always been me all along, we just didn't know it yet.

5. I am so happy that friends of mine are engaged after the latest decision that Prop 8 is unconstitutional ( and is , in my opinion, wrong, for we are not to say who can love who no matter what religious belief, you just don't have that much power over a fundamental right like that). I wish them all love and will always support their freedom to love, for love has no boundaries. I have to say that again to myself: love has no boundaries.

6. Next weekend is Relay For Life event, ACS's top signature event to kick cancer's ass. All of the hard work from our committee and team will yield a beautiful day of music, love and hope. I could write 10,000 blogs on this experience. Oh yea and I have a wedding of a close friend the same day. What dress will I wear? and what shoes? what a beautiful day to look forward to. I really am thinking of what dress to wear...hmmm

7. I really need a haircut , although I am loving my (as C says): "mermaid" long hair look, I really need it trimmed. When will I have time to do that?

8. Lately my dreams are more vivid. I go back and forth of vividry (is vividry a word?) and flashes of space and time. Last night I dreamt I was on the roof of a high rise, no net to catch any fall. Me and a couple friends ( some I did not know, maybe friends from a past life or future) were on a roof with no gates, no rail, and some were walking tight rope,mind you, once again, with no net. We couldve fallen at any minute yet talked and laughed as if we were leisurely picnicking. But I remember I kept looking down. What the heck does that mean?

9. I have a tattoo on my foot. Why in the world did I choose my foot? My least favorite body part, and yet my tattoo calls for beautiful attention.

10. I go home in a couple weeks. I cannot wait. Scrabble with parents, playing with my nieces and nephews, hanging out with friends, playing board games with wine with my entire fam, and seeing my granny and grandpa and their amazing-ness. And I can't wait to bring dad home some Hawaiian shirts I scored from a garage sale. Do I needa Lunesta for the plane ride?

11. Nesia wants to do a camping trip In Oct.. .... Im so down with that. I still have a dream of making pancakes on a griddle.. I dont know why, I just know its on my list and I will create some pancakage (Im sure that pancakage is not a word, but shouldn't it be? ) for all to enjoy.. what is it with me and pancakes lately?

12. I wonder if my fish even likes me. I know he loves Beyonce.

13. I still think about the oils spills , from Exxon years ago and present. Do you think the sea creatures know its us that did it?

14. I still wonder about crevasses of the ocean we cannot reach.

15. If Jack walks to school at 3 miles per hour but Jenny walks at a pace of 3.5 miles per hour and but Mikey speeds up at 4 miles per hour but then stops for one-half hour an the way, but then a bus traveling at 25 miles per hour starts at exactly one hour after Jack, who Will..... oh who am I kidding I never liked math......I wonder what my kids names will be?

16. I love my new chap stick.

17. Life is amazing.

18. I think my fish is not happy with me so I continue to feed it. Does this mean when one day Im a puuppy mommy , Ill just feed it to compensate for the real issue?
I cannot wait to get a puppy one day.

19. I think too much. I wonder who even reads this blog.

20. I really digf "Sister Golden Hair" by America. Great song.

20. I need to stop typing out my thoughts before carpel tunnel sets in, but it was really fun to free-rant, so I'm thinking you should try it. What are your random thoughts through the day or this minute? Wirte or type them out..... Its pretty cool to see them transfer into something tangible.

Toodles till next time. Good luck with the free writing , it truly is a great outlet, for 2 minutes write or type out your random thoughts, even if you are the only one who will ever see them.

gotta have some faith in the sound....

While jammin out to my ipod I listened on my walk to George Michael's "Freedom". I love this song i always have. I remember clearly the video on MTV with all of these gorgeous supermodels lipsynching the song. But there's one line in particular that got me to write this blog: "Have some faith in the sound, it's the one good thing that I've got."

I have always sang since I can remember. My first solo was in kindergarten. I got the pleasure of singing "This land is my land this land is your land..." ...to be honest, that is all of the lyrics I can remember.... But I do remember singing it with all my at all of 6 years old and feeling so special that I got a moment to blurt the tune out. I sang it with another boy and to this day I cannot remember his name. I have one picture from that day, and it is dear to my heart.

There was just something about music that resonated with me that I couldn't describe. It was an outlet to a sense of freedom that I had never experienced before. Even at such a young age, I had found something that was special and different and something that would change my life.

Most musicians will admit that there are certain moments when the soul or self will get get lost in the sense of time and space when performing, it is a notion that is driven by a deep passion. A sense of oneness where everything is at it should be. That is why they are performers , that is why they are musicians.

Ever since that moment in kindergarten i have had music in my life. I started with the recorder in third grade ( honestly it was required that third graders toot on a recorder so not neccessarliy my own initiation), followed by the clarinet . I loved the sound the sound of the wood instrument, even if the reed got all sticky with my saliva. Then I tired of the clarinet and went for a string instrument. Looking back I wish i would have chosen the guitar but instead I woke an hour early before the rest of the school to practice on a viola. I really wanted the viola and me to work out but then 7th grade came along and the chance to audition for choir had arrived.

I dropped everything and anything I was involved in to be in choir. Besides, it was "cooler" to be in choir than be a band member, so in order to preserve my reputation, I joined the 7th grade choir. However in hindsight, let it be known that band kids are cool and amazing and have incredible talent and determination to follow their dreams. I think it should be the opposite, the cool kids should all be in band.

My mom always did her best to support me in my passion. She provided me with voice lessons through my early high school days , even though I know very well she couldn't afford them.

I continued in high school , landed the role of "Laurie" in the musical "Oklahoma" my senior year. I even continued through my first year of college as a music major.

It was extremely intense my first year as a freshman in college, taking 12 out of 14 credits strictly in music analysis, voice lessons, transposing music, piano etc....It was too much and I decided to drop out of the major. But before I did, I went on to audition for the top choir of the University, and to my surprise made it. Of the four sopranos, I was one of them.

I took that as a sign to stay with it and stayed on for another semester as music major. Eventually my knack to party it up and meet new friends and the overall intensity of the program made me realize that maybe I wasn't meant to be a choral director. Afterall i was 19, I really didn't know what I wanted.

But I vowed to never let my undying love for music fail and to always keep it as a hobby. When I moved to San Diego, that is one of the first things I did. I divulged myself into coffee houses and made amazing friends who share that same passion , and eventually I found a community choir to join her in SD.

I love being in choir. The goal of any good choir is to make a group of voices sound as one. You listen to the person next to you and fluctuate your sound in order to create a common ground. Your voices should be one. This pertains especially in your vibrato. You learn to tone down vibrato and make a "straighter" tone in order to create that oneness. I am sometimes quite cortical of choirs because sometimes there is that one person who chooses to stick out. They may have an amazing sound, but in the scope of singing with others on the same level, it is not the intention of a choir.

* on that note, i remember in highschool at a choir festival there was one choir who held hands during their performance. It united them so microscopically that they even breathed in silently synch. I thought it was a great idea and a beautiful interpretation of music

Lately i have had a yearning to step out of being blended with one voice and find my own voice again. I have always been afraid to sing in front of others. My vibrato goes crazy when Im nervous, and i sound like I am hooked on to one of those "fatbelts" that came out in the 70's that promised to make you lose weight if you stood and let it shake you around.

I also get emotional when I sing in font of others for some reason. I now think it may be because I surprised myself from what comes out of me, but sometimes in a close audience its hard to see everyone looking at you. When I performed for my highschool musicals, it was not such a big deal because I could never really clearly see anyones face disicntively.

When I was 15 I had a recital ( from my voice lessons we couldn't afford) and I had worked so hard for months on my arias. I was performing songs from "Phantom Of The Opera." I had prepared "Think of Me" , and other arias. I had practiced diligently with my coach and everyday with Sarah Brightman on my stereo. I was ready for the show.

My mom bought my a dress and I was ready to perform. Yet when I saw in the crowd all of the family and friends who had come to see me, I was so moved i barely uttered the right notes. I'm sure it was partly nerves but I was so touched in that moment that my intention to give a great performance tumbled to the ground. I was humbled and couldn't get the notes out. I was left in my teal and black dress mortified because I had done it hundred times over way better, and me amy mom, and voice coach were the only ones that knew it.

Which brings me to today. I had vowed earlier this year to try to feel more confident about the sound(s) I can make. And taking it further, I told Cammille whom is coordinating "The Relay For Life" entertainment with me, that I would sing the National Anthem to kick the event off. I sort of volunteered myself without really thinking about my hesitations and history. But Im glad i did. I think it is about time I simply share what God gave me. Im no superstar , nor do I want to be. I would be happy just having a little singing family that sings carols together at Christmas time and a household full of music and love.


Which now brings me to this:
Whatever passion you have , it lives in you. Trying to turn it off is like trying to catch a star in a jar. It really is no good to try. So embrace it. Find your voice. it may be in charity, it may be in your job, it may be how you act as a parent , sister, daughter, son, it may be as simple as the way you say hi to a stranger in passing. It IS there, all you need to do is recognize its calling. For it is already yours, it just needs to be claimed. I am trying to do that now. I will have some faith in the sound. Afterall, blind faith is the best kind.

Sun is shining.....

Today is beautiful in so-cal. The Marine layer has parted and the Sun has graciously stepped into center stage, even at 7:00 am this morning. I have a million songs of Summer lovin' in my head. What's your favorite Summertime song?
Here's some Ill be jammin out to when I make a playlist after work....
1. Bob Marley Peter Tosh ( this is not seasonal, this is anytime, anywhere, anywho, any-everything music, but when the Sun is shining it makes these two guys even more magical)
2. Toots and the Maytals (see #1)
3. The Sundays- Summertime
4.Sunny Afternoon- Stereophonics
5.In The Summertime- Bob Dylan
6.Summertime - From Porgy and Bess-- However I love Louis Armstrong
7.Summertime Dream- Gordon Lightfoot
8. Flower rs in your Hair- Scott McKenzie
9. Doin Time- Sublime
10.To the Music- A-Teams
11. Isle of Capri- Frank Sinatra
12. I will be there- Van Morrison
13. Summertime -- Will Smith --- Okay I dint REALLY care for this song, but I say that, and then every time I hear it, I still get jiggy with it... I mean really who am I kidding ?!?
14. California Girls-- Beach Boys
15. Under The Boardwalk-- Drifters
16.Boys of Summer- Don Henley
17. Daisy Summer Piper- Joni Mithcell
18. Steal my Sunshine- Len
19. Walkin on Sunshine- Katrina and the waves
20. Sunshine- I can Fly, Raul Midon

So that's a start of a sunshine play list.... I cant wait to go home and make a fun Summer mix. Ill make you one too if you want. xo

Pen and paper make whoopie

A later Summer and an early Fall
iIt's still shiny and new
YOur hair is a Kingdom.
I constantly search for Humpty Dumpty
But somehow all of the Kings horses are already gone.
And now all the Kingsman only want Omlettes.
Humpty has the Kingdom all to himself,
once he puts himself back together again.







Love is the heaveanly soul.
Drawn from teh curtains, shadows form the luminous
truth, the kind you can only hope your blind faith cannot resist
It is in this place you hear the ginger whispers of all of your insecurities
Doing your best, I purpose, you are the answer
and the problem.
You find yourself
where you started
in the figure eight- which if you recall, means eternity
The rain and fog clear in an hour's time
and the wind
falls green in my mind
By the time the moment should splash against the pumpkin sky,
you will be where whence you started.
and the inifinty will endure.






Ive already memorized the lines-
they were just locked away.
It's no surprise I lost the key.
I needed to borrow some light form the North Star to find it.
I kindly asked.
And received an encore from Aurora Borealis.
The key was never discvored.
Because like a whisper to a cotton cloud
-it was never needed.



Haikus are so fun
They make you count in your head
My haiku for you.




Lovely and steady
whispering winds cry love
grattitude proceeds

I can only be free if you are free.

Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide. ~Napoleon Bonaparte

Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves. ~Abraham Lincoln

It is easy to take liberty for granted, when you have never had it taken from you. ~Author unknown, sometimes attributed to M. Grundler


No one is free when others are oppressed. ~Author Unknown

Give me Liberty or give me Death!~ Patrick Henry , said during a speech during a Virgina Convention just shy of a year before July 4th,

July 4th is one of my favorite Holidays we Americans celebrate. I could say its because of the pretty fireworks ( My favorite ones are the ones that sparkle as they cascade down, simulating a Marilyn Monroe gown). I could say its because I like the "Oh Say Can You See" lil jingle. I could also say like it so much because we tend to surround ourselves with family and friends. Or I could also say I love the 4th because I was born the day after, so sometimes I get lucky and get a cupcake at midnight to chime in my bday. But being a true cancer sign (and rising sign for that matter), I am driven by my inner spirit for this innate passion for our freedoms and am an avid patriot, and that is really why I like this holiday.

On July 4th, 1776 the Continental Congress (AKA "our awesome Forefathers") decided to officially claim their independence from Great Britain by en stating "The Declaration of Independence." They had actually passed the vote itself on July 2, however, they made some quick final revisions on that balmy summer day before they all signed it one by one.

I can only imagine what it would be like to have been in that room. The Revolution had been long, yet the pride and blind faith of those men in the room and the residents in those 13 colonies, never stopped their dream to be free.

Now please do not misunderstand, we still had a VERY long way to go before abolishing slavery, giving women their full right to vote, and many other facets of true freedom and equality. But it was a beginning. A beginning that was guided with an unstoppable belief. Belief that those soldiers that lost their lives in the Revolutionary War were not lost in vein. Belief that freedom creates an opportunity to grow and become what we are today.

I am thankful for those gentlemen in that room on that day in 1776. I am thankful for their courage. I am thankful they had a vision. A viiosn that involved being freedom to rule ourselves.

The world around us is not so lucky. Freedoms do not exist for everyone outside these walls. Try to for one moment think about not having a simple freedom you have everyday. A basic human right. Now imagine you could not do that.

Or imagine being forced into sex trafficking at age 11. Imagine being born during the Hitler's reign and being Jewish. There are many examples, some more painful than others. Freedom is precious.

I am thankful for every single person that serves our country in the military. Whether or not I agree with what we are choosing to fight for, those individuals are willing to make a sacrifice not only for themselves, but for you, and me. They sacrifice time away from family, friends, the comfort of familiar foods, housing, and even their lives.

I salute you all. I salute Abraham Lincoln for realizing that abolishing slavery was worth the lives lost in the civil war. I am thankful for Thomas Jefferson who so poetically created a wonderful document that still stands today. I am thankful for Francis Scott Key for inspiring to write an amazing song with so much passion, while staring at flag still waving in battle. I am thankful for Martin Luther King Jr. , a true hero, who led others to freedom, without implenting violence.
If those guys could see us now...........

Happy 4th of July! I hope you have a safe and happy Holiday.

One of my favorite freedom songs:

An African Hymn done in chant. I think it might have been one of the first acapella songs for a choir I ever sang:

Oh Freedom,

Oh Freedom,

Oh Freedom

Freedom is coming ;

oh yes I know

(REPEAT twice)

* you tube it, its a catchy lil jingle:)

Music is most often the breath of life

* there will be little to no spell check on this one. think of it as sugar in the raw. *

" Acts performed for any of these reasons may be god and righteous, and as a result, i may grow spiritually, or not. But for an act to be part of a "path" , we must have the intention to grow or awaken." ~"Setting out a path to service.' ~ Ram Dass

"In addition these ways of understanding our journey , there are devotional ways. The intention to remember and celebrate God is an act of devotion. We may consider gos as our beloved and see each act as an offering or service or demonstration of our love" ~Ram Dass


"The music of life is in danger of being lost in the music of the voice'~ Mohandas Gandhi

Each moment in life is new. Wouldnt you agree? Each moment is precious every time you stop to think about it. Right now you are precious teaming with life, potential, an full of love if you will allow it.

This is my second year honorably serving the Relay For life Committee. Every moment I do something that moves me froward or moves me back, i am so honored to do this, to look at myself so honestly. It is these rare moments of honesty with ourselves, you can see the true meaning of life or what your life's intention hold. This year I am working with my dear friend Camille on the entertainment events for the full 24 hour event.

* On a side note i want to thank her for keeping me on track. i have found, as i continue my journey to be an act of love that for the most part, it is work. Hard work. It is not always rainbows and popsicles. The work may come with or without an end result but you do it as an act of yourself being an instrument to what suffering you can end to the world. After a conversation with her tonight, i am gently reminded to not get lost in the details of the hard work it is, but what the cause is. What it is you not only stand for , but what you see the world others as being, their deep potential of the possibility of what could be. Thank you my most humble friend. I did , for a momet get lost in details, and lost what the big picture was. AFter a simple conversation, you brought me back to light *

Before I get too far, let me digress into what Relay For Life is and what it means. Relay for Life is a 24 hour event in which people from the community gather for hope. There are teams formed and they take turns through a 24 hour period walking a track. Campsites are set, the track is lit late in the night with luminarias which burn through the night and light the track. These limnairas carry the names of loved ones who have faced cancer in their lives. By dusk, everyone seems tired yet they press on, for remembered loved ones, for themselves, for loved ones they know have beat the odds, or maybe just for the liveliness that hope does exist. Then sun comes up and hope regains its strength and gently reminds us that life is precious and not to be wasted in the details.

The journey of the event is supposed to symbolize what courage , strength, and what hope can truly be. i believe there is a cure for cancer. i believe that nature, including animals, can teach us things we need to know. Nature and the life it holds are so important to our well-being. ( I cannot stress enough how, i believe, we are part of the eco-system, however, not necessarily the most important part) we are all connected. i believe that not everything comes easy and no matter what form it is. If you are passionate about anything at all you will stop and learn to understand it. Sometimes, you are meant just listen, and feel.

This year I am working with Cammile to secure that people are entertained throughout the day, an even more so: the music.
Sometimes (all the time in my opinion) listening to music can bring you to terms with whatever it may be that is inside you. It cannot only make you feel and think things that you would not do or say, sometimes , it simply does it for you. It is effortless in the connectivity it can create between your soul and other people.


This year, compared even more so than last, i have taken the time to listen. I have head the most heartfelt stories I cannot even tell you beyond this keyboard. Even to talk on the phone, to various local musicians, has humbled me beyond words. I believe that music can truly connect people for this event and that is what i think music can do: heal and give hope. Many people that are faced cancer or any element simply need to know they are not alone. Absolutely nobody should ever feel alone. We are not. You are not alone. Nor are they. We must fight caner. I think with music, passion and just the notion of hope, we can win.

i am honored to have such a variety of feedback and love in all different ways. A gospel choir, a steel drummer, reggae bands, an Irish jig, etc. Its just too fun to not enjoy life with all of this talent and music around you.

I want to thank all of the musicians , with lovely talent, that have, thus far, have commit ed to performing at this event. I believe the gift of music will sink into our hearts, either with a laugh or tear,and keep that energy and spirit alive, even just to make that extra lap that can symbolize so much. I believe music can heal and give hope that words alone are too shy to convey. Furthermore, I cannot tell you how impressed I am with the music community in San Diego. What beautiful souls you are! Every response ive received has been positive and endearing.

Camille and i are honored and excited to have you be a part of this event .


I invite you to take a stand and join us. Either by joining a team, volunteering your gifts talent, a donation, I promise you it WILL make a difference. If their is one thing I do know, it is THAT EVERY LITTLE BITS HELPS.

For more information please contact me at :
mcbrooke321@yahoo.com

To donate or register as a team or survivor visit:

www.relayforlife.org/sandiegodowntownca


On another note , there has been one song that just seems to speak to me and has been my anthem, this year and last.... i always think of my grandmother fighting breast cancer when I was nine and I , at that time didn't even even really know what it was. I still can't hear this song without crying , remembering her strength and grace. If only we could know how to pull it close and make it stay....:

Always on you Side: Sheryl Crow ( at times with Sting , my favorite version)

My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
But every now and then you come to mind
Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
But your demons and your angels reappeared
Leavin' all the traces of the man you thought you'd be
Leavin' me with no place left to go from here
Leavin' me so many questions all these years

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be
No it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, but never is it clear,
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away
And I'm left to carry on and wonder why
Even through it all, I'm always on your side

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are we left to wonder, all alone, eternally
But is this how it's really meant to be
No is it how it's really meant to be

Well if they say that love is in the air, never is it clear
How to pull it close and make it stay
If butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away
Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why
Was it you that kept me wondering through this life
When you know that I was always on your side

Castles in the air.

There are days when you are so tired it is almost a euphoric dream. Sleep deprivation truly is a deceptive state of being to the mind and soul. Oddly enough, it can be sometimes almost be fun, well maybe not quite. Well I dont know now that I tihnk about it. Obviously , my decision making skills are rencered useless as well. (And just a dsiclaimer that spellchek is out of the question today, not that i utilize it to begin with. ) Ive written about my battle with insomnia before, I think I inherited my ability to never sleep from my Mom. Sometimes my mind will keep me up, other times, my body thinks there is something fun I would miss by giving it the REM it needs, and other times I stare at the ceiling counting every atom in a square inch.

Today, Im tired. My reasons are far and in between but I almost feel like I can see you standing in front of me , like a mirage after some deep dehydration. The kind of mirage that brings great pelasure into the escapism in which I seek to avoid the fact that I really just need some rest. Almost dream-like, but with a twist of fate. Definately not a good driving condition to be in. My cat-like reaction skills are certainly not up to par this morning. I see castles in the air and lagoons on mountians. i should think even conjuring up a haiku for you might be too much.
However, I enjoy this altered state of conciousness, even if it means Im so tried i cant see straight. Somewtimes its nice to view life horizontally and vertically at the same time. Either fight it or embrace it right?
Today I embrace this, along with my coffeee and the gallons of water I need to consume today to make my body happy and get right with my soul.

So cheers to you , and my well wishes for energy love and light. And if you could, send some energy my way today , I need it. I can feel its presence already.

i'm so glad.

That you like Pina Coladas
Getting caught in the rain
And the feel of the ocean
And the taste of champagne
If you'd like making love at midnight
In the dunes of the Cape
Come with me and escape
~R. Holmes

You'r the Inspiratioooonnn! Part Deux

My Grandma is without a doubt one of the most amazing women I know. We traditionally call her "Granny," although I don't know why. Just like how I don't know how or why "Auntie" Brooke was coined by my nieces and nephews either, I suppose it just is. My Grandma is wise even beyond her years and I can always be myself around her. She always has stories from when she was my age and going through a similar situation. She always says something to me that means so much and she never really even realizes it. She is a true granny and a true friend.
She also is well into retirement and is notorious in my family for knitting, crocheting, gluing, sewing, you name it, she will make it. She will write her own little stories, make little hand puppets, when I was little I remember she made me dolls, and as I got older she would make me glamorous pre-tween Easter dresses. She has made me books full of quotes, and a quilt which I sleep with every night. I even have a box full of kid's toys and books she made all set to go for my future kids. The joke of the family is that not all things she makes are necessarily the most adorable thing to look at and sometimes I think she just lavishes in her creativity and likes to experiment and never lets it go to waste.
I love her and I can only hope when I am older and retired and have children, grand-children and great grand-children I possess her wittiness, cleverness, creativity, and the notion to make things for my loved ones. Ive started in my 30's making things for other's, but not like her. She is one driven woman.
Her latest invention I received in the mail last week. Its one of the best ideas Ive seen in while and so incredibly useful. It's a little mini-mit ( made out of a kitty pattern that looks just like the cat I grew up with , Murphy.) I have never told her that now these days kitties give me asthma attacks because I just love the idea of her seeing me as that little girl who just loved her Murphy.
I opened the package and thought it was an oven mit with less than enough padding to protect me from 450 degree heat, and than I read her note: "Brooke, here is something I made just for you. It is a lil microwave mit. It also has magnet sewn inside it so you can just stick it on your fridge"
I thought oh cute, and thoughtful.
Then i used it for the first time. This thing is genius!!! I love it. It works perfectly and she should patent this thing. I couldn't ask for a better grandma to look up to, nor a quirky creative lady to bless me with cute little gifts that mean so much. And who, in true granny style , would be so clever as to think of something useful , practical, just so darn cute.
She is an inspiration to me. I hope this week and the weekend brings you inspiration, and it gets dumped right into your soul and stays there for eternity.
listen to the song by Chicago. peter Ceterra inspires me too.

Inspriation is everywhere.

*I will post pictures of the mit once i figure out how.
xo

You're the Inspiraaaaaaaation!

The title of this blog comes form two things that happened last week that inspired me. Due to time constraints I can only divulge on one for now. And yes, in case you were wondering while I type this the infamous song by Chicago is running through my mind, and after I write this I will be having some Pandora fun finding that song.
My dear friend Charlene and I were at a place quickly grabbing a drinkie poo before listening to some great home grown music in Pacific Beach last week. I asked Charlene to come along to meet with Catheryne Beeks of KPRI to discuss her involvement with The Relay For Life event I am on a Committee on. At any rate, the story of Relay For life deserve an entire blog all its own which I am processing in my head as I go through the experience of it all, so please look forward to that soon.


So... Charlene and I are enjoying some beverages and we noticed this adorable woman who was trying to find her way to the Gaslamp from Pacific Beach ( for any non-sd residents, it is about a 20-minute ride or so). The man in the restaurant was diligently trying to find a cab company willing to come to Pacific Beach, equipped with the capacity to take lovely Alexandria and her Electric Mobility Scooter apparatus back to Gaslamp Village.


Apparently, this was a tall order to fill, even the company that brought her out that way simply stated they did not have any automobiles equipt to do that. ( Huh? then how did she get out there in the first place?)Instead of being frustrated with the cab companies and their blase (blah-say)efforts to accommodate, I quietly started a campaign of my own. We all got on our phones finding a way to find her a ride. After a couple calls, Charlene and I took a moment to talk with Alexandria.
Boy, was she an inspiration, a little light coming form nowhere but everywhere . Aleaxandria was visiting from Germany. When I asked who her travel companion was, she smiled warmly and said, "just me!" She told us how she loves The U.S., and just loves to travel. She had a fancy camera dangling from her neck, and spoke perfect English with a beautiful German accent.


The thing I connected with the most in what she was saying is this: Ive always wanted to take on the challenge of traveling alone to a foreign land and see whatever destiny would lay before me. I was always so nervous, primarily for safety issues. Ive traveled alone once on my way to San Diego from Michigan, just me and a car full of a lifetime of belongings on a four day cross country trek. I must say, I enjoyed the time alone, but when i did long to talk a little, I was afraid to talk to anyone for fear of the wrong person knowing I was alone in my travels with a car full of stuff ( not worth much but it was still all mine). I suppose I let fear get in the way of experiencing more. I think that is how my Mom raised me though, always to function of the error side of caution. Which is smart, do not get me wrong, but something about Alexandria that just inspired me to let go of fears a little more, to try it out, to have a little blind faith in the notion that it might be worth the risk. To trust myself more, using my instinct and judgement. I suppose when I have children i will teach them to be cautious too, but I'll also teach them that risks are worth it.


Alexandria was so happy, such a joy to talk to. And the next day she came out to visit Charlene who works at Balboa. Balboa Park was already on Alexandria's agenda and she knew of places I had never heard of in San Diego.
She finally got a ride to where she needed to go and the waiter even came over to our side of the venue to tell us she was safely picked up.
Im not sure if I'll be booking a trip alone anytime soon, but if lovely Alexandria can do it, then I maybe I can too.


Please refer to photo up top as I still am not photo uploading savvy....
Meet our friend Alexandria: She loves to travel, loves American food ( she especially likes all of our "creams" , or condiments), rarely brings technology with her on her travels, has an amazing joy and zest for life, and is my latest inspiration.

Who is your inspiration today? At this moment? Just a simple conversation sometimes is all it takes. Who could YOU inspire today?


And now I have a date with Pandora and Peter Ceterra....can I loop on Pandroa and out the song on repeat?

Be Berry Quiet.. I'm hunting wabbits...

I had a rather nostalgic conversation this weekend concerning childhood memories of classic cartoon wonders our generation has known as classics... Bugs Bunny, Sylvester the Cat, Pepe la Pew, and so on. We laughed and talked of our keenest memories and realized how adult-like alot of these cartoons are even though most were made in the fifties. So I just had to look some up to share with you on this relaxing Sunday evening.
I mean , come on, just cant NOT love a bunny that is so clever dressing in drag to deceive his own hunter, or an extremely affectionate French skunk who tries to swoon his true love (as she darts off in lightning speed) and he is left kissing his own tail.
As I was you-tubing, I came across plenty of inspiring Carmen Miranda impressions too. Here's some memories in video. I was laughing out loud when viewing some of these. Really most of them are genius. Not to mention, the music score is amazing too. They just don't make them like this anymore...
enjoy these..












And now of course I just had to add a clip of the real Carmen Miranda and her amazingness...



And th-th-th-that's all folks!

Cosmic Deities

Last night I watched a special on the 4 outer planets of the Solar System. I had randomly taken an Astrology class last summer just for the sake of my keen interest in the cosmos, and to keep me out of trouble. I really wanted to take the viewing portion where you go up in a tower and view planets and constellations and write reports about their movements in orbit etc. However, I learned that the viewing class had a pre-requisite and I had to take the lecture first. I signed up right away.
I am so amazed sometimes about how much we know of the cosmos and the planet Earth, but even more so I get taken back by how little we know. To take that a step further, how much we will never know.
The special I watched was the Voyager project that NASA did in 1977. By that particular time we had landed the moon, put a dog and monkey up into the unknown and moved leaps and bounds to new discoveries. However, by the late 70's we really didn't know much of anything of the outer planets in our solar system, besides some blurred images of the four outer planets: Saturn, Jupiter, Uranus and Neptune. We knew nothing of the surface of the planets, the atmoshpere, there was very little detail in any pictures to make an educated guess as to how they functioned. Afterall, Jupiter is located 5 times further than the sun than Earth and Earth (us) are a whoppin 93 million miles from the sun. So take 93 million X 5 and, well, its really astronomical to think about, but that's how far you have to travel to reach Jupiter. (And by the way, a light year is about 5.7 tillion miles, so imagine in today's world how we talk about a planet that's 42 light years away.)
There was a genius guy by the name of Ed Stone. ( so think, might want to google that ...) and he started looking at the planets and their rotations around the sun. He realized in 1972 that those four outer planets would be in alignment on the same side of the sun on a particular day. If they ( NASA) could plan it just right, they could use the trajectory of the planets to swivel around one another picking up images NEVER seen before. In 1977, their launch became a success and this idea worked and yielded results truly beyond any one's wildest imagination. And they launched not one but two.
They discovered Jupiter has a gaseous surface but actually radiates heat because the core is made of gas that is so dense that it is a liquid. They discovered the moons of Jupiter are intricate and could have bodies of water lying beneath the surface. Furthermore, that all of Jupiter's moon are radically diff rent in their own rite.

They saw clearly the rings of Saturn and what they are made of, and even the rotation of the dust, meteors and patterns in the rotations. They even noticed little smaller moons called Shepard's that surround the rings of matter in orbit around the planet.
When they reached Uranus was flabbergasted at that the polars of the planet were made of frozen nitrogen.

Watching these scientist reactions of the first glimpses of these clearer images of the planets was incredibly moving.

Here is a glimpse:

* you will have to copy paste, sorry new blogger I am

http://science.discovery.com/videos/the-planets-giants-saturns-rings.html




And that is only in the realms of our own galaxy. The Voyager then transcended into interstellar space and is still out there projecting images far, far, far beyond our lil Milky Way.

After watching this, I went to bed thinking this:
Knowledge is endless. Time is relevant to our perception. Possibilities are endless. The Unknown is endless. Discovery is endless.
Most importantly, life is precious. There is so much out there to know and understand, and yet we are all very connected to. Afterall, we are made of the same energy and components of the stars and more.

We are small and so fragile. Saturns rings will continue to orbit, Jupiter will continue to have wind storms in hundreds to thousands miles per hour, we may never know what the core of Neptune is made of. We will NEVER know it all. So appreciate your life everyday. Don't hold back in life. Go for it. Let wonder carry you away into a blissful imagination of a child. You never know whatever you conjour up, it could exist somewhere.
Life is precious and we are all special and unique , but small for the keeping. Respect our wonderful Earth and be thankful that the conditions are just right for us to exist with water, sunlight, gravity, an atmosphere, and a magnetic field.
Overflow with gratitude for the Sun and the natural energy and light it supports from our entire Solar System to giving your body vitamin D to feeling the sun on your back on a chilly day. One day the helium and hydrogen will burn and our beloved Sun will be black hole. But it will not happen today or tommorrow or even a couple millions of years.
So gaze at the stars, make wishes on them. I make wish on stars, clouds, raindrops, my dreams, all the time. (One time I realized I was accidentally wishing on Jupiter.) Watch a sunset and gaze (with SPF protection glasses on) at the wonderment for the moment you are in. Share that moment with someone. You never know what will be discovered tomorrow. Until then, swim in the knowledge that surrounds you. Swim in the minscule notion that we are small and precious. Swim with an unforsaking heart that you are here now.

(Oh and by the way, I still have not taken the viewing portion of the class. I still need to do that. I have a telescope gifted to me by my friend Kore, however, I really don't know how to operate it. )

just say yes

Loving the new Snow Patrol song: "Just Say yes"

Im just saying, yes.

loving differences.

Seek a true equal. Sometimes we tend to gravitate to others that are different from us, sometimes very different. Which can be a good thing. We should be curious and learn from others who have a different sort of jive. right? But what about dating? How much should you have in common? How different should you be? In a book Ive read twice now on my path to self realization, there's one chapter called "Seek a True Equal." This chapter in a nutshell basically means to find meaning in ourselves and in the lives of who you have a relationship with. Now on the surface its starts with the basics right? Hobbies? Similar Interests? Divulging deeper, I think that companions should have similarities and also seek and discuss the differences. The differences can present themselves as a platform to grow from. Or those differences can ultimately end that relationship because there is no middle ground. It is there where you can ask the difficult questions that may need to be asked.....
- Are we both showing genuine interest for each other?
- Do we both listen to each other on our difference and communicate? Do we communicate similar enough to do it effectively?
- Am I aware of any discomforts, doubts , or concerns? Am I sharing them or merely exploring them within myself?
- Can we work through our differences to strengthen the foundation of our relationship?

In the end it is more important to honor that person for who they are. Changing someone or creating stipulations in any relationship is unhealthy and unrealistic. My Dad told me to never get into a relationship expecting a person to change. True. And let's face , if there are several things you would like to change about someone, it may be time to release that person back into the world and honor the just the way they are. Knowing in full unconditional love that the relationship has reached its completeness as far as your involvement with one another. Maybe the relationship will take on a different meaning. Maybe you are better off continuing a true platonic friendship instead. Maybe you're better off just not talking at all anymore. Maybe its just not the right time, and destiny still has work to do with you before you share that time with someone. Maybe your souls were meant to cross paths in life for a greater purpose that you may not ever see or understand.


Either way, my bottom line is this: Honor who you are with. Be true and kind to yourself the best way you know how. Honesty can be very difficult to talk about. But the more honest you are, the easier you will see respect and trust you will have for others and others for you. Go for someone who is more of an equal in life, morally, ethically etc. but different enough to keep it interesting. Screw lust, vanity, money and all that stuff. Don't let it deter you from finding the one you need, want, and are destined by the cosmos and God to share your time with.



Seek a true equal.

Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame. ~ Song of Songs

blogga-what?

Ive been sitting here ready to blog my lil heart out. Yet Im staring at the screen thinking how magically i could make my thoughts transpire from my heart, to my head, to my fingertips, to the keyboard, and thus into the blog to be posted. I don't think its working. In a half hour's time, this is what i came up with.
I think I'll try to read instead. Maybe listen to some Bach.
I'll try again tommrrow. i knew this blogging thing wasn't always going to be easy. so more later ...
till then, hope you are smiling, toodles:)

Life is but a Dream

How do you dream?

I tend to dream in flashes. That's often how my childhood memories float back to me, in bits and pieces that come together to tell a story. My latest dreams are like pieces of a puzzle and the pieces are constantly changing. There's a vividness to my dreams. They never seem sureal, they are always what I beleive to be true in that moment. I often wake up and take a moment to question, "was that real?" And then I evaluate my surroundings , think about what I did the day before to get my mind settled back into real reality.
Another thing I notice about my relationship with my dreams is that I always have a feeling attached to every flash of a picture, kind of like a picture book where you flip the pages and the pictures move to tell a story. In the morning that is how I recall my dreams, by the feeling I created.
Have you ever woken up knew you had a dream but completely forgot what it was about? It has been proven that we have on average 5-7 dreams a night in our REM stage of sleep. However, we only remember or retain a small percentage of those dreams.

I just googled dreams and found an artcile by Brian Rice and this is the first paragraph:

"Dreaming is defined as the subjective experience of imaginary images, sounds/voices, thoughts or sensations during sleep. Dreams represent a world of imagery in which our darkest fears, deepest secrets, and most passionate fantasies break out from the unconscious mind and only at this time become present to our own consciousness."

I have recently started a dream journal. I am trying to record my dreams, even if they are night terrors. I keep it on my bedside and even wrote something in it at 4 in the morning when the rain woke me up. The thing is, Im not exactly sure why Im doing this. I really dont have any intention of analzying these entries. Maybe re-reading a couple because some of the ideas and thoughts are out-of-this world wacky andf funny.
But it feels good just to jot them down. I suppose I realize how incredibly creatiive and illogical dreams can be, and how liberating that is. In dreams, possibilities are so endless, possibilities don't even exist. That fascinates me.

You know what I do miss doing? Daydreaming. When you completely zone out but you are completely awake. You have that look in your eyes where you are looking somewhere yet not focused on anything really, just your dream. These often are so great, but since moving into adulthood I've sadly lost some of my childhood faith and have learned that daydreaming during school, work etc. is not appropriate. I dont daydream like I used to. I miss daydreams.

But I still dream vivdly in my sleep.

Here's to many sweet dreams from me to you.
Don't let the bedbugs bite.

The Little Things...

You'll come to learn a great deal if you study the Insignificant in depth. ~Odysseus Elytis

As we become curators of our own contentment on the Simple Abundance path... we learn to savor the small with a grateful heart. ~Sarah Ban Breathnach

Don't be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones tend to take care of themselves. ~Dale Carnegie

A mighty flame followeth a tiny spark.~ Dante Alighieri


I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble. ~Helen Keller



Sometimes the smallest decisions can be the most important choices you make. I'm one of those people that always notices the little things. Maybe it's because Im little. Maybe it's because I realize little things can mean big things. I see this principle often in people , friends, co-workers, and strangers. It's always the quietness in your intentions and determination that I see and notice first in others in others, and even in myself. This concept stretches to all walks of life. I notice it when Im talking to someone, meeting somene new, or an old friend. Even in music I hear the most insignificant beat or instrument in the background, or inflection in the singers voice for a moment that I zone into and shapes the expereince for me. ...Here are some examples of little things that have the potential to mean alot:

1. You'd be surprised how many times you do NOT need a plastic bag when going to the drug store or local corner mart. This is one of the easiest for you to do, just try out. If you need a bag, buy one for .99 and store it in your glove box. You could potentially save up to 1000 lbs. of raw plastic per year. Yes all because of you. And this one you would really be surprised how many time you really don't need a bag but the cashier is merely doing what they were taught to do in training. In fact, it feels kind of good to tell the cashier that you wont be needing a bag but thank you. Most cashiers smile and support your decision, or maybe its because you save them the task of bagging up your stuff. Either way, both parties are behooved by this simple gesture.

2. Manners. It could be just me (often time it is:) , but likewise many of my girlfriends appreciate manners , especially on dates, and I am one of those ladies. When ordering a drink or food on a date, be sure to say please and thank you. I notice this tiny gesture all of the time, seriuosly all of the time. Even when people are placing orders to their local baristas for their morning coffee, tack on a please and thank you. What a diffrence in tone and demeanor you come across. It's a real easy way to demonstrate respect to the individual you are asking to serve you and just sounds like you are a super nice, thoughtful person. Use manners. Even a fiercely independent girl like me really appreciates when the door is pulled open for me. And if you miss your cue and don't hold the door, don't worry I will get the door for you. Little things including thoughtfulness and manners always go both ways.

3. Unplug your phone charger and other appliances when not is in use. By now I feel everyone should know this one , but then again there is nothing wrong with not knowing what you don't know. However, after reading this, no excuses because now you know:) By doing this, and doing this together, we will save megawatts/trillawatts of energy that is not needed and, you will save money on your bills.

4. On dating: dont worry about big ticket items like: how much money you spend on a date, or the venue you choose. If you focus on those big ticket things, you are missing out on the best part of discovering someone new. The little things add up. You dont necessarily have to show up with a dozen roses. Maybe just grab a single sunflower and do it just because you like her/him. Likewise, a little place to grab pizza is the same as a nice steakhouse. The venue, what you wear etc. are all background to the person you are trying to get to know, or spend time with. The little things tend add up when you are merely being yourself. You and he/she will remember how that person made you feel and the conversations you shared, not the food you ate or the bagillion dollars you spent on drinks and apps.

5. Whenever I travel I always try to find something little to remind me of that place. Sometimes, its as good and free as picking up a leaf or flower,and keeping it in the book I am reading as a bookmark. The last trip I went home, I brought home an oak leaf and an acorn. My Mom was laughing at me as I picked them up telling her I was going to bring these items back home with me to San Diego. That acorn is now in my box of quarters I keep for laundry and every time I go to do laundry I remember that walk I was taking that day with my Mom. Ya see? little things.

6. Volunteering is so much easier and simpler than you think. This deserves an all around blog on its own. I am reading for the 3rd time a book called "Compassion in Action." This book resonates with me more than anything I have ever read. I learn something new eveysingle time I read this book. AT any rate, getting myself back into volunteering is something I am working on. AT any rate, check out volunteer sandiego.org. It is so easy. I will blog about this later, but you go to one orientation that lasts about half hour and then you hop on-line and sign up for any projects, most of which take only two hours of time....like I said more on this later. Another little thing is to ask friends and family if they will join you. My friend Nesia asked me to join her this Saturday to help paint a bridge. It was perfect. I'll be painting this Saturday morning and all she did was ask if I'd join.

I dont really know how I got to thinking about the little things, but today it is what is on my mind. Take note in others that see and do those little things. Make a clear intention to be those little things that make a difference. Hopefully that girl or boy you like will notice too. Of course, being nothing short of who you truly are. No need to go overboard if it's not what you feel. But try to open up to those little things. Help that person on the side of the road by making sure they get the help they need. It might take 15 minutes out of your day but it could mean the world to them in their vulnerable state of being stranded with a broken car. Even take a minute to smile at someone in the car or the sidewalk. Little things can make a difference. Dare to Be Little. It can make a huge difference. Afterall, a journey that lasts forever is comprised of little steps.

* I must post this disclaimer for my shameful spelling errors on this one.... I know I know, its the little things, but what can I say?

Feel For Ya Baby.....

Im a deep lover of love songs. Im an even deeper lover of 70's soft rock love songs. Maybe it's the feathered hair. Maybe its the chilled down and out sound that makes you want to make-out or slow dance under the moonlight. Regardless, if you ever see the Time Life series of 70's soft rock songs and my brithday is coming up, don't hesitiate to call the number on the screen. I promise to make you many playlists.
Even better yet, you ever ctach wind of an Ambrosia reunion tour, call me up, I love these guys. To start our Monday off right, here's some little treats I pulled off YouTube. Relax and enjoy. Afterall, "That's How Much I Feel."





Skip the first 30 seconds:

An Affair with Laughter...

So my last couple blogs have been fairly pensive... well none of that today. Today I want to show gratitude for the wonderful gift of laughter. I love to laugh until my cheeks hurt and my diaphragm gets a good work out. Laugh today with someone, or if you're reading this alone, Ive attached some YouTube videos. Who doesn't love dancing babies, laughing babies , or any silly game show blooper?

Enjoy and don't hold back. Laugh it up. YouTube more and laugh some more. Email me some good knock- knock jokes too.


At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. ~Jean Houston

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. ~e.e. Cummings

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face. ~Victor Hugo

Laughter is an orgasm triggered by the intercourse of sense and nonsense. ~Author Unknown

Expecting no expectations..or something like that

Too often, we try to mold others into what we want them to be, what we think they are, what we think they should be. We are filled with expectations all around us. Friends, family, co-workers, even expectations to look amazing in that couture dress you are going to wear on Saturday. Expectations are really a dangerous thing. Especially when it comes to one another.
Instead of creating expectations, it is much easier most time to take step back, and honor someone for who they are, exactly where they are at in their journey. All the while taking into account the Great Realization that they may or may not represent what you may need or desire in that present moment , they just simply are. So what if you had a bad date? That is one more person you did not know before. So what if someone you were close with once hardly talks to you? So what if you lost your job? These are all moments that pass through us and leave a mark on your soul, so just be present when they are there. That way you don't look back and regret on taking someone or something for granted. A job. Your 20's. A friend. A loved one. what have you.
By doing this , you are free to completely submerse yourself into that situation or being you are sharing it with, at that moment. Which is what it is, a moment. Tomorrows changes are already the present, yesterday was yesterday, and the future is already here.
I believe people , situations and circumstances are meant to circle and intertwine in and out of your life. Much like the wind between the trees. A breeze passes and sails on its way, but the leaf and the branch had the moment to dance with it, and is changed because of it.
We are blessed because, unlike a leaf or a branch, we have memories , emotions, and a higher conscientious of being to feel and evaluate. But even more importantly we are above those things,more like the leaf. We are souls, spirits and energy that can move freely to cross and dance with each other.
How many friendships have you had in your life where you may have not spoken to that person in years, but if you were to be put in a room together it would be like a day has never passed? Your kindship wouldn't have missed a beat in its cosmic rhythm.
I have many of these people in my life and am thankful to have had those moments with them. They shared with me their gifts and individual light which resides in who they are. So what if we don't talk alot or we are not facebook (or myspace) friends? I was there in the moment and I have gratitude.
I am not perfect. I would never claim to be , and honestly, I would never want to be. But the more I face fears within myself of letting go of my sweet nostalgia, the less afraid I become.
The more I face the fact that I have an ego , as we all do, the more I can let go of any expectations of you (Even my expectations that you will read my blogs). I appreciate you for who you are and the dance we danced or will dance in the future.
Even if I knew you for a moment and wouldn't let my differences go, i still honor you.
Even if you dont know me as well as my parents, best friends, or someone who I am dating, I have unconditional respect and love for you and the mark you have left, sincerely from my soul to yours. I say this to anyone Ive known whose been in my life. Even my old babysitter in which I dont even know her name, or that sorority sister in college I never really got close to. Or an old friend or x-boyfriend whom I never talk to anymore. We are all meant to be on a constant path of change and I thank you for who you are.

So i leave you with this question for the day:

Who do you need to take time to honor and appreciate at this very moment? And furthermore, how will you tell them?

What expectations can you let go of?

Oh!!.... The Places You'll go!

It is better to travel well than to arrive. ~ Buddha


I love to travel. In fact, I have three travel magazine subscriptions ( yes I know three is a little much I recently cut back). I'm the kind of traveler that looks for the heart of the experience through culture, people (especially children),music, architecture, the agriculture, local drinking establishments and restaurants. I, for the most part, avoid over-indulgent, expensive hotels/resorts , however, am not opposed to a dose of room service with a side of of 1,000,000,000 thread Egyptian cotton sheets with another side of a spa treatment every now and then.

The last big trip I took was to London and Devon/Totness to visit my friend Kore and her boyfriend Lumin. It was a perfect trip mixed with the bustle of London and a 4 hour train ( of which Kore and I were both unfortunately very sick and hungover) ride to the English countryside where the violets and primrose were just beginning to bloom. It was a prefectly balanced trip bewteen city and country and I hope to jet set somewhere over that way again soon. But I'm sure my next trip will most certainly be to my family in MI whom I miss dearly, and it's been way too long. Until then I cut out little places from my magazines of where I want to go and things I want to see and do and glue stick them into a life book I started a couple years ago. I realize I may never be able to do it all, but it's so fun to dream about all that is out there. It feels even better to come back from a trip and check off that little nook of a foreign farmers market or antique shop in my book and write the date I completed it in my lifebook.

If you love to travel, make it a goal. Dont let money or time away deter you. Set aside money over a period of time and save it. All the while make a book of the things you would like to experience. This fuels you when you want that Starbucks coffee everyday versus making it at home. And when you return from your travels call me and lets have tea so I can listen to your journey.

Although I am not an expert at travel, through my little magazines and some creativity of my own, I want to share some little tips that possibly could make your journey even even more memorable or maybe just a little more comfortable.

1. My friend Aspasia and Kore both know Im candle obsessive, and even when I travel I always bring one. It adds such warmth and homeyness to a hotel or B&B room. But if I buy any candles while on vacation (or incense) I try to buy two of them. One I will use for the rest of the trip, and the other to burn when I get home and want to return to the place I was, even only for a moment. Try it. This is a good one. When Kore and I tramped all over Greece, it was the incense that stayed with us the whole time.

2. Grab newspapers and save any little ticket stubs. You can laminate them and give them to friends as bookmarks. I personally make my own little collage cards to give to people on certain occasions and use them for postcards to send or a card with a Little note on the back. Whatever you do on your time away, find a way to recycle those little things and make them meaningful from you to others.

3. Music. I love music. Music is huge to me when traveling. If I forget my ipod, Im lost. But if you go somewhere where there is a different flavor of music , go into little record shops, buy cd's, or even better yet, just keep a log of songs that are influential to you or remind you of that place. When you get home create your very own playlist and it will take you back there all over again.

4. If it's not obvious ( see #1) Im big on fragrances and smells. I always pick a shampoo I never use regularly. For example, when I went with my parents to the Bahamas I bought this delicious coconut smelling shampoo. Now when Im in the mood Ill buy some and use it and the memories comes back to me. Along with nice, shiny hair. bonus.

5. Dr. Bronners Organic Castille soap. This stuff can be used for just about anything, I think it has almost 20 uses. Laundry, body , face, even brushing the beavers. I personally dont recommend it for shampoo, left mine a little greasy. But anything else its an all propose, all organic miracle. I suggest doing some research though on the recipes, most times you will have to dilute it in water.

6. I am an accessory whore. I really am. I love scarves, necklaces , bracelets, and anything else I can wear to spruce up an outfit, with nothing short of looking like a Christmas tree. So when packing earrings I recently learned a new trick to get over sized buttons and place one pair in each of the holes. That way, you dont have to dig in your jewelry bag for the other. * I cannot take credit for this idea , but have to share it does make getting ready easier my ladies :)

So there you have it. See the world. Let the world see you and call me when you get back.

Where do you want go?