Seek a true equal. Sometimes we tend to gravitate to others that are different from us, sometimes very different. Which can be a good thing. We should be curious and learn from others who have a different sort of jive. right? But what about dating? How much should you have in common? How different should you be? In a book Ive read twice now on my path to self realization, there's one chapter called "Seek a True Equal." This chapter in a nutshell basically means to find meaning in ourselves and in the lives of who you have a relationship with. Now on the surface its starts with the basics right? Hobbies? Similar Interests? Divulging deeper, I think that companions should have similarities and also seek and discuss the differences. The differences can present themselves as a platform to grow from. Or those differences can ultimately end that relationship because there is no middle ground. It is there where you can ask the difficult questions that may need to be asked.....
- Are we both showing genuine interest for each other?
- Do we both listen to each other on our difference and communicate? Do we communicate similar enough to do it effectively?
- Am I aware of any discomforts, doubts , or concerns? Am I sharing them or merely exploring them within myself?
- Can we work through our differences to strengthen the foundation of our relationship?
In the end it is more important to honor that person for who they are. Changing someone or creating stipulations in any relationship is unhealthy and unrealistic. My Dad told me to never get into a relationship expecting a person to change. True. And let's face , if there are several things you would like to change about someone, it may be time to release that person back into the world and honor the just the way they are. Knowing in full unconditional love that the relationship has reached its completeness as far as your involvement with one another. Maybe the relationship will take on a different meaning. Maybe you are better off continuing a true platonic friendship instead. Maybe you're better off just not talking at all anymore. Maybe its just not the right time, and destiny still has work to do with you before you share that time with someone. Maybe your souls were meant to cross paths in life for a greater purpose that you may not ever see or understand.
Either way, my bottom line is this: Honor who you are with. Be true and kind to yourself the best way you know how. Honesty can be very difficult to talk about. But the more honest you are, the easier you will see respect and trust you will have for others and others for you. Go for someone who is more of an equal in life, morally, ethically etc. but different enough to keep it interesting. Screw lust, vanity, money and all that stuff. Don't let it deter you from finding the one you need, want, and are destined by the cosmos and God to share your time with.
Seek a true equal.
Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame. ~ Song of Songs
Friday, April 30, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
blogga-what?
Ive been sitting here ready to blog my lil heart out. Yet Im staring at the screen thinking how magically i could make my thoughts transpire from my heart, to my head, to my fingertips, to the keyboard, and thus into the blog to be posted. I don't think its working. In a half hour's time, this is what i came up with.
I think I'll try to read instead. Maybe listen to some Bach.
I'll try again tommrrow. i knew this blogging thing wasn't always going to be easy. so more later ...
till then, hope you are smiling, toodles:)
I think I'll try to read instead. Maybe listen to some Bach.
I'll try again tommrrow. i knew this blogging thing wasn't always going to be easy. so more later ...
till then, hope you are smiling, toodles:)
Monday, April 12, 2010
Life is but a Dream
How do you dream?
I tend to dream in flashes. That's often how my childhood memories float back to me, in bits and pieces that come together to tell a story. My latest dreams are like pieces of a puzzle and the pieces are constantly changing. There's a vividness to my dreams. They never seem sureal, they are always what I beleive to be true in that moment. I often wake up and take a moment to question, "was that real?" And then I evaluate my surroundings , think about what I did the day before to get my mind settled back into real reality.
Another thing I notice about my relationship with my dreams is that I always have a feeling attached to every flash of a picture, kind of like a picture book where you flip the pages and the pictures move to tell a story. In the morning that is how I recall my dreams, by the feeling I created.
Have you ever woken up knew you had a dream but completely forgot what it was about? It has been proven that we have on average 5-7 dreams a night in our REM stage of sleep. However, we only remember or retain a small percentage of those dreams.
I just googled dreams and found an artcile by Brian Rice and this is the first paragraph:
"Dreaming is defined as the subjective experience of imaginary images, sounds/voices, thoughts or sensations during sleep. Dreams represent a world of imagery in which our darkest fears, deepest secrets, and most passionate fantasies break out from the unconscious mind and only at this time become present to our own consciousness."
I have recently started a dream journal. I am trying to record my dreams, even if they are night terrors. I keep it on my bedside and even wrote something in it at 4 in the morning when the rain woke me up. The thing is, Im not exactly sure why Im doing this. I really dont have any intention of analzying these entries. Maybe re-reading a couple because some of the ideas and thoughts are out-of-this world wacky andf funny.
But it feels good just to jot them down. I suppose I realize how incredibly creatiive and illogical dreams can be, and how liberating that is. In dreams, possibilities are so endless, possibilities don't even exist. That fascinates me.
You know what I do miss doing? Daydreaming. When you completely zone out but you are completely awake. You have that look in your eyes where you are looking somewhere yet not focused on anything really, just your dream. These often are so great, but since moving into adulthood I've sadly lost some of my childhood faith and have learned that daydreaming during school, work etc. is not appropriate. I dont daydream like I used to. I miss daydreams.
But I still dream vivdly in my sleep.
Here's to many sweet dreams from me to you.
Don't let the bedbugs bite.
I tend to dream in flashes. That's often how my childhood memories float back to me, in bits and pieces that come together to tell a story. My latest dreams are like pieces of a puzzle and the pieces are constantly changing. There's a vividness to my dreams. They never seem sureal, they are always what I beleive to be true in that moment. I often wake up and take a moment to question, "was that real?" And then I evaluate my surroundings , think about what I did the day before to get my mind settled back into real reality.
Another thing I notice about my relationship with my dreams is that I always have a feeling attached to every flash of a picture, kind of like a picture book where you flip the pages and the pictures move to tell a story. In the morning that is how I recall my dreams, by the feeling I created.
Have you ever woken up knew you had a dream but completely forgot what it was about? It has been proven that we have on average 5-7 dreams a night in our REM stage of sleep. However, we only remember or retain a small percentage of those dreams.
I just googled dreams and found an artcile by Brian Rice and this is the first paragraph:
"Dreaming is defined as the subjective experience of imaginary images, sounds/voices, thoughts or sensations during sleep. Dreams represent a world of imagery in which our darkest fears, deepest secrets, and most passionate fantasies break out from the unconscious mind and only at this time become present to our own consciousness."
I have recently started a dream journal. I am trying to record my dreams, even if they are night terrors. I keep it on my bedside and even wrote something in it at 4 in the morning when the rain woke me up. The thing is, Im not exactly sure why Im doing this. I really dont have any intention of analzying these entries. Maybe re-reading a couple because some of the ideas and thoughts are out-of-this world wacky andf funny.
But it feels good just to jot them down. I suppose I realize how incredibly creatiive and illogical dreams can be, and how liberating that is. In dreams, possibilities are so endless, possibilities don't even exist. That fascinates me.
You know what I do miss doing? Daydreaming. When you completely zone out but you are completely awake. You have that look in your eyes where you are looking somewhere yet not focused on anything really, just your dream. These often are so great, but since moving into adulthood I've sadly lost some of my childhood faith and have learned that daydreaming during school, work etc. is not appropriate. I dont daydream like I used to. I miss daydreams.
But I still dream vivdly in my sleep.
Here's to many sweet dreams from me to you.
Don't let the bedbugs bite.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
The Little Things...
You'll come to learn a great deal if you study the Insignificant in depth. ~Odysseus Elytis
As we become curators of our own contentment on the Simple Abundance path... we learn to savor the small with a grateful heart. ~Sarah Ban Breathnach
Don't be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones tend to take care of themselves. ~Dale Carnegie
A mighty flame followeth a tiny spark.~ Dante Alighieri
I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble. ~Helen Keller
Sometimes the smallest decisions can be the most important choices you make. I'm one of those people that always notices the little things. Maybe it's because Im little. Maybe it's because I realize little things can mean big things. I see this principle often in people , friends, co-workers, and strangers. It's always the quietness in your intentions and determination that I see and notice first in others in others, and even in myself. This concept stretches to all walks of life. I notice it when Im talking to someone, meeting somene new, or an old friend. Even in music I hear the most insignificant beat or instrument in the background, or inflection in the singers voice for a moment that I zone into and shapes the expereince for me. ...Here are some examples of little things that have the potential to mean alot:
1. You'd be surprised how many times you do NOT need a plastic bag when going to the drug store or local corner mart. This is one of the easiest for you to do, just try out. If you need a bag, buy one for .99 and store it in your glove box. You could potentially save up to 1000 lbs. of raw plastic per year. Yes all because of you. And this one you would really be surprised how many time you really don't need a bag but the cashier is merely doing what they were taught to do in training. In fact, it feels kind of good to tell the cashier that you wont be needing a bag but thank you. Most cashiers smile and support your decision, or maybe its because you save them the task of bagging up your stuff. Either way, both parties are behooved by this simple gesture.
2. Manners. It could be just me (often time it is:) , but likewise many of my girlfriends appreciate manners , especially on dates, and I am one of those ladies. When ordering a drink or food on a date, be sure to say please and thank you. I notice this tiny gesture all of the time, seriuosly all of the time. Even when people are placing orders to their local baristas for their morning coffee, tack on a please and thank you. What a diffrence in tone and demeanor you come across. It's a real easy way to demonstrate respect to the individual you are asking to serve you and just sounds like you are a super nice, thoughtful person. Use manners. Even a fiercely independent girl like me really appreciates when the door is pulled open for me. And if you miss your cue and don't hold the door, don't worry I will get the door for you. Little things including thoughtfulness and manners always go both ways.
3. Unplug your phone charger and other appliances when not is in use. By now I feel everyone should know this one , but then again there is nothing wrong with not knowing what you don't know. However, after reading this, no excuses because now you know:) By doing this, and doing this together, we will save megawatts/trillawatts of energy that is not needed and, you will save money on your bills.
4. On dating: dont worry about big ticket items like: how much money you spend on a date, or the venue you choose. If you focus on those big ticket things, you are missing out on the best part of discovering someone new. The little things add up. You dont necessarily have to show up with a dozen roses. Maybe just grab a single sunflower and do it just because you like her/him. Likewise, a little place to grab pizza is the same as a nice steakhouse. The venue, what you wear etc. are all background to the person you are trying to get to know, or spend time with. The little things tend add up when you are merely being yourself. You and he/she will remember how that person made you feel and the conversations you shared, not the food you ate or the bagillion dollars you spent on drinks and apps.
5. Whenever I travel I always try to find something little to remind me of that place. Sometimes, its as good and free as picking up a leaf or flower,and keeping it in the book I am reading as a bookmark. The last trip I went home, I brought home an oak leaf and an acorn. My Mom was laughing at me as I picked them up telling her I was going to bring these items back home with me to San Diego. That acorn is now in my box of quarters I keep for laundry and every time I go to do laundry I remember that walk I was taking that day with my Mom. Ya see? little things.
6. Volunteering is so much easier and simpler than you think. This deserves an all around blog on its own. I am reading for the 3rd time a book called "Compassion in Action." This book resonates with me more than anything I have ever read. I learn something new eveysingle time I read this book. AT any rate, getting myself back into volunteering is something I am working on. AT any rate, check out volunteer sandiego.org. It is so easy. I will blog about this later, but you go to one orientation that lasts about half hour and then you hop on-line and sign up for any projects, most of which take only two hours of time....like I said more on this later. Another little thing is to ask friends and family if they will join you. My friend Nesia asked me to join her this Saturday to help paint a bridge. It was perfect. I'll be painting this Saturday morning and all she did was ask if I'd join.
I dont really know how I got to thinking about the little things, but today it is what is on my mind. Take note in others that see and do those little things. Make a clear intention to be those little things that make a difference. Hopefully that girl or boy you like will notice too. Of course, being nothing short of who you truly are. No need to go overboard if it's not what you feel. But try to open up to those little things. Help that person on the side of the road by making sure they get the help they need. It might take 15 minutes out of your day but it could mean the world to them in their vulnerable state of being stranded with a broken car. Even take a minute to smile at someone in the car or the sidewalk. Little things can make a difference. Dare to Be Little. It can make a huge difference. Afterall, a journey that lasts forever is comprised of little steps.
* I must post this disclaimer for my shameful spelling errors on this one.... I know I know, its the little things, but what can I say?
As we become curators of our own contentment on the Simple Abundance path... we learn to savor the small with a grateful heart. ~Sarah Ban Breathnach
Don't be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones tend to take care of themselves. ~Dale Carnegie
A mighty flame followeth a tiny spark.~ Dante Alighieri
I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble. ~Helen Keller
Sometimes the smallest decisions can be the most important choices you make. I'm one of those people that always notices the little things. Maybe it's because Im little. Maybe it's because I realize little things can mean big things. I see this principle often in people , friends, co-workers, and strangers. It's always the quietness in your intentions and determination that I see and notice first in others in others, and even in myself. This concept stretches to all walks of life. I notice it when Im talking to someone, meeting somene new, or an old friend. Even in music I hear the most insignificant beat or instrument in the background, or inflection in the singers voice for a moment that I zone into and shapes the expereince for me. ...Here are some examples of little things that have the potential to mean alot:
1. You'd be surprised how many times you do NOT need a plastic bag when going to the drug store or local corner mart. This is one of the easiest for you to do, just try out. If you need a bag, buy one for .99 and store it in your glove box. You could potentially save up to 1000 lbs. of raw plastic per year. Yes all because of you. And this one you would really be surprised how many time you really don't need a bag but the cashier is merely doing what they were taught to do in training. In fact, it feels kind of good to tell the cashier that you wont be needing a bag but thank you. Most cashiers smile and support your decision, or maybe its because you save them the task of bagging up your stuff. Either way, both parties are behooved by this simple gesture.
2. Manners. It could be just me (often time it is:) , but likewise many of my girlfriends appreciate manners , especially on dates, and I am one of those ladies. When ordering a drink or food on a date, be sure to say please and thank you. I notice this tiny gesture all of the time, seriuosly all of the time. Even when people are placing orders to their local baristas for their morning coffee, tack on a please and thank you. What a diffrence in tone and demeanor you come across. It's a real easy way to demonstrate respect to the individual you are asking to serve you and just sounds like you are a super nice, thoughtful person. Use manners. Even a fiercely independent girl like me really appreciates when the door is pulled open for me. And if you miss your cue and don't hold the door, don't worry I will get the door for you. Little things including thoughtfulness and manners always go both ways.
3. Unplug your phone charger and other appliances when not is in use. By now I feel everyone should know this one , but then again there is nothing wrong with not knowing what you don't know. However, after reading this, no excuses because now you know:) By doing this, and doing this together, we will save megawatts/trillawatts of energy that is not needed and, you will save money on your bills.
4. On dating: dont worry about big ticket items like: how much money you spend on a date, or the venue you choose. If you focus on those big ticket things, you are missing out on the best part of discovering someone new. The little things add up. You dont necessarily have to show up with a dozen roses. Maybe just grab a single sunflower and do it just because you like her/him. Likewise, a little place to grab pizza is the same as a nice steakhouse. The venue, what you wear etc. are all background to the person you are trying to get to know, or spend time with. The little things tend add up when you are merely being yourself. You and he/she will remember how that person made you feel and the conversations you shared, not the food you ate or the bagillion dollars you spent on drinks and apps.
5. Whenever I travel I always try to find something little to remind me of that place. Sometimes, its as good and free as picking up a leaf or flower,and keeping it in the book I am reading as a bookmark. The last trip I went home, I brought home an oak leaf and an acorn. My Mom was laughing at me as I picked them up telling her I was going to bring these items back home with me to San Diego. That acorn is now in my box of quarters I keep for laundry and every time I go to do laundry I remember that walk I was taking that day with my Mom. Ya see? little things.
6. Volunteering is so much easier and simpler than you think. This deserves an all around blog on its own. I am reading for the 3rd time a book called "Compassion in Action." This book resonates with me more than anything I have ever read. I learn something new eveysingle time I read this book. AT any rate, getting myself back into volunteering is something I am working on. AT any rate, check out volunteer sandiego.org. It is so easy. I will blog about this later, but you go to one orientation that lasts about half hour and then you hop on-line and sign up for any projects, most of which take only two hours of time....like I said more on this later. Another little thing is to ask friends and family if they will join you. My friend Nesia asked me to join her this Saturday to help paint a bridge. It was perfect. I'll be painting this Saturday morning and all she did was ask if I'd join.
I dont really know how I got to thinking about the little things, but today it is what is on my mind. Take note in others that see and do those little things. Make a clear intention to be those little things that make a difference. Hopefully that girl or boy you like will notice too. Of course, being nothing short of who you truly are. No need to go overboard if it's not what you feel. But try to open up to those little things. Help that person on the side of the road by making sure they get the help they need. It might take 15 minutes out of your day but it could mean the world to them in their vulnerable state of being stranded with a broken car. Even take a minute to smile at someone in the car or the sidewalk. Little things can make a difference. Dare to Be Little. It can make a huge difference. Afterall, a journey that lasts forever is comprised of little steps.
* I must post this disclaimer for my shameful spelling errors on this one.... I know I know, its the little things, but what can I say?
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