free writing into an oblivion.

Is there a such thing as a blogger's block? Ive had many an encounter with a writers block. But what if I am lost in regards to what to blog about? Of course , that is the point of a blog, to rave and/or rant about whatever is you choose, hence "my" blog. What's so hard about that? just blog it out.

The thing with me is that I feel this pressure within myself that there has to be a theme for every entry, thus creating boundaries and constraints. A thought out stream of thoughts and ideas put down by me in pen/paper (every now and then I like the use of a good No. 2 pencil) minutes before I go to bed, or sitting at the keyboard , well-knowing that I never type as fast as my thoughts could roll off my fingertips. I often like to write it out because my hand flies off the charts with speed and becomes completely illegible but only to me. Its sort of my own secret code. You would only really know what it says unless I chose to narrate to them to you myself. At any rate, that is not neither here nor there, and don't know how I just got to ranting about that.

Which is, in essence, my point and sole purpose of conjuring this up. A blog with no name. I have no direction as to where my thoughts are leading today, in fact they are every which way around the bend and up and down, which is honestly how my mind funcitons all the time anyway. So why contrive a theme for this particular blog? My theme in essence is not to have a theme at all. Instead I'd like to share some of the random thoughts that are floating in and directly out of my mind this very moment. Like a very hot lava lamp bubbling up and then released, the process never stops. Sometimes its cool to be the only one that knows these thoughts. However, for this time and purpose of the blog in the afore mentioned, I will share the random thoughts floating through in this particular moment (maybe it will encourage you for some free writing time afterwards too):

1. I wonder why my fish has this white stuff on him and I can't seem to cure it. Do I need try more drops? Does he even know I named him Blarney because I got him on St. Patricks day? And how long do Betta's last? How old is he in fishy years?
I don't have a real birthday for him.

2. We are doing a company lunch today for one of my girls who is moving to Idaho. I wish her love on her new beginnings. I also wonder if our boss will allow some skinny margaritas to be consumed this afternoon in celebration to her amazing contributions.

3. I'm thinking about my vices today. I am wondering what yours are.

4. I wonder if that "someone out there" across the cosmos is thinking that it's always been me all along, we just didn't know it yet.

5. I am so happy that friends of mine are engaged after the latest decision that Prop 8 is unconstitutional ( and is , in my opinion, wrong, for we are not to say who can love who no matter what religious belief, you just don't have that much power over a fundamental right like that). I wish them all love and will always support their freedom to love, for love has no boundaries. I have to say that again to myself: love has no boundaries.

6. Next weekend is Relay For Life event, ACS's top signature event to kick cancer's ass. All of the hard work from our committee and team will yield a beautiful day of music, love and hope. I could write 10,000 blogs on this experience. Oh yea and I have a wedding of a close friend the same day. What dress will I wear? and what shoes? what a beautiful day to look forward to. I really am thinking of what dress to wear...hmmm

7. I really need a haircut , although I am loving my (as C says): "mermaid" long hair look, I really need it trimmed. When will I have time to do that?

8. Lately my dreams are more vivid. I go back and forth of vividry (is vividry a word?) and flashes of space and time. Last night I dreamt I was on the roof of a high rise, no net to catch any fall. Me and a couple friends ( some I did not know, maybe friends from a past life or future) were on a roof with no gates, no rail, and some were walking tight rope,mind you, once again, with no net. We couldve fallen at any minute yet talked and laughed as if we were leisurely picnicking. But I remember I kept looking down. What the heck does that mean?

9. I have a tattoo on my foot. Why in the world did I choose my foot? My least favorite body part, and yet my tattoo calls for beautiful attention.

10. I go home in a couple weeks. I cannot wait. Scrabble with parents, playing with my nieces and nephews, hanging out with friends, playing board games with wine with my entire fam, and seeing my granny and grandpa and their amazing-ness. And I can't wait to bring dad home some Hawaiian shirts I scored from a garage sale. Do I needa Lunesta for the plane ride?

11. Nesia wants to do a camping trip In Oct.. .... Im so down with that. I still have a dream of making pancakes on a griddle.. I dont know why, I just know its on my list and I will create some pancakage (Im sure that pancakage is not a word, but shouldn't it be? ) for all to enjoy.. what is it with me and pancakes lately?

12. I wonder if my fish even likes me. I know he loves Beyonce.

13. I still think about the oils spills , from Exxon years ago and present. Do you think the sea creatures know its us that did it?

14. I still wonder about crevasses of the ocean we cannot reach.

15. If Jack walks to school at 3 miles per hour but Jenny walks at a pace of 3.5 miles per hour and but Mikey speeds up at 4 miles per hour but then stops for one-half hour an the way, but then a bus traveling at 25 miles per hour starts at exactly one hour after Jack, who Will..... oh who am I kidding I never liked math......I wonder what my kids names will be?

16. I love my new chap stick.

17. Life is amazing.

18. I think my fish is not happy with me so I continue to feed it. Does this mean when one day Im a puuppy mommy , Ill just feed it to compensate for the real issue?
I cannot wait to get a puppy one day.

19. I think too much. I wonder who even reads this blog.

20. I really digf "Sister Golden Hair" by America. Great song.

20. I need to stop typing out my thoughts before carpel tunnel sets in, but it was really fun to free-rant, so I'm thinking you should try it. What are your random thoughts through the day or this minute? Wirte or type them out..... Its pretty cool to see them transfer into something tangible.

Toodles till next time. Good luck with the free writing , it truly is a great outlet, for 2 minutes write or type out your random thoughts, even if you are the only one who will ever see them.