The cold never bothered me anyway. Let it go or lower expectations.....

Recently the movie “Frozen” has taken storm appealing all ages alike and with it comes its notorious song “Let it go.”  I must admit if it plays on the radio on my way to work, I'm that girl with the windows closed rocking out and singing.  Granted this not the song I'd be playing getting ready for a night on the town for a date or to meet friends out but nonetheless there is relatability to it that is undeniable.

I practice my life to the best I feel I can to ”be here now”  and “be in the moment” not pressing my happiness “on” others or, more importantly, “in” others. Sounds great right?

However, I said practice….. and this life is a constant whirlwind of learning in a big dress rehearsal. If I were “in the at moment” all times I would be happy inside in every single moment, never allowing the actions of others to define or affect me (effect or affect?).  On the other hand, if I don’t give in to the fact that others do effect me, then I never get the chance to spiritually grow out of that notion. I don’t get to have the light without the darkness….so I can’t be a ray of sunshine every single moment. My mood swings are sometimes in a playground of swings so that’s just not going to be the case. Besides, my soul needs the experience of holding on too much in order to practice letting go of that familiarity, pushing to explore the unexpected happiness that is present if I let it in.

There are times when you have the choice to let it go, and the beauty of that is that you have a choice. However… there are other times when you don’t have a choice to let it go. For example, a business deal that must be followed through, an in-law, an ex-boyfriend that has the same group of friends etc.  The situation cannot be abandoned or “let go” in a special sense and you must face it with as much grace and dignity as you would expect your heart to allow.  What do you do then?  My answer…. Lower expectations, which turns out can and much harder than letting it go. 

The trickiest part for me is that I pretend I don’t have these great expectations for others, regardless of the situation. For example,  where I'm “supposed” to be in this stage of life, where my career lies, my relationships with friends, co-workers, dating, etc.  I somehow try to trick myself into thinking I don’t have set expectations for my relationships and certain situations. But let me be the first to gracefully face the situation and admit the truth: if you are my friend, and ex, a co-worker, family, I do have expectations of you. That may be holding me back from letting go and residing in the beauty of whatever our relationship may or may not be, but sorry, I hold you to a certain level reciprocal actions, even when I know I cannot control anyone's actions but my own. I expect my friends to be there for me, I expect co-workers to extend a virtual and sensible environment to learn and go, I expect my family to be there for me always, etc., etc.

So if it cant be “let go” so to speak, what else can I do?....got it…  Lower my expectations of the situation or that person. Once again sounds great right?  Here’s where it gets a little sticky for me and in my life as of late. I find myself trying to trick myself into thinking I've lowered expectations, but I really haven’t.  I’m simply pretending (to myself mind you) that I don’t hold that person to that level of expectation. Its  the finest art of self-trickery, where you are the loser and the winner all in one, but gets you nowhere fast.

I recently read an article titled: “Officials “lowering expectations” on Flight 370, warn answers may never come.”  I thought to myself “what the heck does that really mean?”  I can see what it means on the surface but are the expectations of the public lowered when speaking  of finding a plane with 280 passengers that  fell off the earth with virtually no trace?  I suppose if they were to announce that the black box has lost its ping and we have not found the aircraft we won’t be so disappointed?!  Still remains a horrible tragedy whether we find out what has happened or not.  We hope can only learn, give hope and love to the survivors’ loved ones, and hope one day the answers may come. 

Same goes for me. Of all the disappointment I feel or have felt, I hope to learn and offer myself the love and support I need and know the answers will come in some facet.

And I will do that by lowering some expectations in situations and others, from my authentic heart and not just logic. Even more so, I’m going to take expectations and turn them on myself, of course, within reason.

 I’m going to wake up tomorrow and expect that I will take the day to have gratitude for my health and that I am self sufficient and have access to love and happiness at every moment.  I am not going to expect that call that I feel so desperate to receive.  I am going to do my best to not think of all of the things people are not being to me, but I’m going to pay full attention to all of the people that offer kind gestures, compliments, and a warm smile.  Those are the people that deserve my full, undivided attention.  I’m going to expect that whatever I endure I will handle it with grace and my best foot forward. 

I am hoping to find that lowering expectations of others will lead to the ease of letting go rather than just having to do it cold turkey.  I was never one that yielded kindly to black and white scenarios, I play more in the shades of grey, so its more my style anyway.  So I'll ease into letting go of what I cannot control and ease into what I can control.. which ultimately is myself.

After all, the cold never bothered me anyway.

What expectations of others can you let go of today?  Maybe your personal journey is to let go of expectations of yourself?  Whatever that personal journey is find one thing to practice on today, and make sure it is from the heart, and not just logic.  More times than not, they do not align but the heart tends to win.